Sometimes I see people on LinkedIn who stayed in their corporate careers. A lot of them are doing really well, but most stayed pretty much in the same job. Eleven years on, I sometimes have moments when I wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed with the corporation, kept battling up the ladder. Would things have been different?
The ’08 crash wiped us out, financially and emotionally. Had we not had each other to hold onto, it could have done us in spiritually too. There’s no guarantee I would have ridden out that hurricane from the safety of a corporate shelter, but I thought several times, as I traded my house for an apartment and continued to push my ancient Camrys to the breaking point, did I do the right thing striking out on my own?
The last decade has been an amazing adventure of one exciting, unusual, challenging or frightening thing happening after the other. The setbacks were easier to take, because they were at our own hand, we had chosen them, controlled them. There was no one to blame but us, and that made the defeats we faced easier to own and let go of, almost all to be eventually remembered with humor.
And the victories. The clients that succeeded, especially the ones that had given themselves up for dead, the ones we begged and cajoled and threatened to keep going. To see them win was to see us win. That is what I carry with me, that we made a difference and continue to make a difference. We mattered in tangible ways that are undeniable. That we are loved because of it.
None of this would have ever happened in a job where your ability to affect change is prescribed by rules, policies and your boss’ fear. Despite the joy of our work, I will admit that I had a cloud of doubt cross my mental sky from time to time. Until last week.
An old friend from my corporate days whom I haven’t spoken with for a few years called. I love this man. He’s kind and honest and was a complete joy to work with. Even though it’s been over a decade since I’ve worked with him, I still remember those times fondly. He’s recently changed jobs and is working with a company that I sense doesn’t have the same ethical compass he does. He’s talking about retirement, which is not like him. But the man I knew was still in there.
“I see you’re keeping the entrepreneurial fires burning,” he said.
“Eleven years,” I replied.
“Can you believe that,” he said. We mused about time, how fast it goes. Then he said something that completely surprised me, “You’re out there doing it. We’re back here, working for the man, and you’re out in the world. You’re a free man.”
Something in me responded, ‘That’s right.’ That’s why we didn’t go back to jobs when it got tough. That’s why we put up with the craziness of erratic sales, late paying customers and occasional long hours. We’re free.
All I could reply was, “Thank you,” but my old friend had given me a wonderful gift. Confirmation. Maybe this dream we’re living is a little crazy, but it’s not insane.
Dispatches From The Front 